Holiday Cheer with Your Host Roger Stone
Featuring an Advent calendar “like you’ve never seen before”
“I think if you had a real election and Jesus came down and God came down and said, ‘I’m gonna be the scorekeeper here,’ I think we’d win [in California], I think we’d win in Illinois, and I think we’d win in New York.”
Donald Trump, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, December 2, 2023
While most faithful Americans understand God and Donald Trump as worthy a Biblical juxtaposition of good and evil as any, Roger Stone hopes to persuade you otherwise in his new streaming series, Holiday Cheer with Host Roger Stone.
For starters?
Over hot-chocolate martinis, Trump pal Roger prods struggling RNC Chair, Rhonda Not-Romney McDaniels, to preview the RNC’s latest holiday fund-raiser - an Advent calendar “like you’ve never seen before.”
Highlights of upcoming episodes of Holiday Cheer?
A multi-part production of Stooge & Mar-a-lardo, with sincere apologies to Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol and timeless characters Scrooge & Marley.
4 Big Elf (2003) Reveals: Turns out Santa’s workshop was full of elvish Trump enablers. How Will Ferrell and Elf fashion changed their lives forever, and how Elf informs their roles today as Bad Santa.
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Today, RNC Rhonda-Not-Romney reveals her desperate, last-ditch effort to win back Boss Trump’s affection:
Roger: So, Rhonda-Not-Romney, tell us about An Advent Calendar Like You’ve Never Seen Before.
Rhonda-Not-Romney: Well, Roger, I finally decided not to take a backseat again to The Heritage Foundation. And believe you me, I’ve been in the backseat with those Heritage fellas plenty, laboring so feverishly for The Boss’s favor.
Heritage guys all act like celebrities, thinking they can get away with anything!
Take my 2020 state voter suppression initiative. In 2021 Heritage commandeered my entire staff to railroad 19 Red State voter-suppression initiatives into law. And Heritage gets all the credit!
And my 2021 plan - to install Trump people as the state election officials administering all those vote-suppressing laws and Trump fans as so-called “citizen- inspectors” to intimidate voters. In 2022, once more the Heritage boys are the Boss’s heroes.
And my brilliant 2022 plan? The brainstorm of brainstorms? To disenfranchise properly-registered Swing State college students? Yet again, in 2023 it’s the Heritage hairballs (and that bitch Cleta Mitchell) who bask in Trump’s praise.
And what about all my blood, sweat and tears in 2023 planning for the 2024 RNC national presidential debates? For Christ’s sake, sycophant Heritage is “just fine” without them! Who is God’s good name does Trump think he is?
And even now the ever-proprietary-minded Heritage claims the democracy-wrecking Project 25 as its very own - the audacity!
That’s my damn wheelhouse! Oh, Roger, my breaking heart!
Roger (musing to himself): “The Boss really knows how to play Rhonda-Not-Romney.”
Romney: But yesterday’s Washington Post gave me a simply wonderful idea!
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/interactive/2023/trump-pardon-power-2024-benefit/
Why not just rip off its front-page face book of all the Trump-pardoned felons who today support Trump and dress it up as an Advent calendar?
A branded, RNC-exclusive.
You know, for each day of Advent, a little bitter chocolate Trump figure, a little milk chocolate Rhonda-Not-Romney figure, a little dark chocolate Jesus figure, and so forth, Trump pardoned-and-enabling-felon-after-felon, marching storm-trooper-like, straight through the holy days of December, each bearing a little golf-leaf cradle or cross captioned “Trump 2024.”
Everyone wants in! Rudy, Jordan, Perry, Clark, Bannon, Ginny, Manafort, Speaker Mike, Eastman, even Sidney P. and The Cheese.
Stone (pretending to be gobsmacked, while so very eager to phone pal Trump):
Not-Romney, sounds like you have a total winner!
How about a little German chocolate Roger figure? Bearing a little sign?
One that says: “F*ck the voting - let’s go straight to the violence.”
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A Brief History of Advent Calendars (once heartily embraced by Hitler’s Third Reich), courtesy of National Public Radio
First things first: The season of Advent dates back to the fourth century, and is celebrated by most Christian churches in the Western tradition.
Advent calendars have their roots in the 19th century, when German Protestants started taking creative steps to mark the days leading up to Christmas, like ticking off chalk marks on walls or doors, lighting candles and placing straws in a Nativity crib.
Some families hung up a devotional image each day, which led to the creation of the first known handmade, wooden Advent calendar in 1851
German publisher Gerhard Lang is credited as the inventor of the printed Advent calendar, which was inspired by the childhood memory of his mom sewing 24 cookies into the lid of a box and allowing him to eat one each day of Advent.
Lang produced the first printed and commercial Advent calendar in the early 1900s — in partnership with illustrator Ernst Kepler — and continued to innovate over the years, including creating the first calendars with doors in the 1920s.
Other publishers followed suit, and by the 1930s Advent calendars were in high demand in Germany.
However, things took a dark turn during World War II, when paper was rationed and the Nazi Party banned the printing of illustrated calendars. As part of its effort to rebrand Christmas, the Third Reich later created its own Advent calendar — incorporating swastikas and other symbols, Vox reports — to be distributed to mothers and children.
At the end of the war, longing for normalcy, companies with the means returned to printing traditional Christmas Advent calendars — and returning service members brought them back to Europe and the U.S.
President Dwight Eisenhower gave them a huge popularity boost at home when national newspapers ran a photograph of him opening one with his grandchildren in 1953. Still, the Advent calendar needed a few more years and iterations to reach its final form (or at least the version that we know today).
The first chocolate-filled Advent calendars reportedly appeared on the scene in the 1950s, and Cadbury began commercially producing them in 1971. It took two more decades before they were popular enough for the company to put into continuous production — and the rest is history.
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Mark your heart with the true spirit of Christmas, and your own calendar for November 5, 2024.
Vote.
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Here’s your morning shot of Blackjack, with a Card Deck of 54+ Trump Enablers:
https://www.defendyourvotingrights.org/play-card-game/
and Card Deck of 54+ Enablers of the Big Lie of Election Fraud (including our most recent Joker, House Speaker Mike Johnson)
https://www.defendyourvotingrights.org/54-enablers-of-voter-suppression/